- Ontario now uses the language of decision-making responsibility and parenting time rather than “custody” and “access,” but the guiding test is the same: the best interests of the child.
- A parent generally cannot lawfully withhold a child from the other parent without a court order or a genuine, immediate safety concern.
- Unpaid child support does not justify withholding parenting time — the two are legally separate.
- If there is a court order or agreement, denial of parenting time is taken seriously and can be enforced, including through make-up time.
- If there is a real safety risk, you can act to protect the child — but you should seek a court order (and, where needed, police or child protection) promptly rather than simply withholding.
- Persistent, unjustified withholding can amount to parental alienation and can backfire on the parent doing it.
The Short Answer
In Ontario, a parent generally cannot lawfully stop you from seeing your child without a court order or a genuine, immediate safety concern. The law is centred entirely on the best interests of the child, not on either parent's preferences. If there is a court order or agreement in place, wrongfully denying parenting time can be enforced — including through make-up time. And critically, being behind on child support does not entitle the other parent to withhold the child. If you are being denied, the answer is to act quickly and properly, not to retaliate.
The New Parenting Terminology
You may still hear “custody” and “access,” but Ontario and federal law have moved to new language. Decisions about a child are now framed as decision-making responsibility (the authority to make major decisions about the child) and parenting time (the time a child spends in each parent's care). The change is more than cosmetic — it reflects a focus on the child's needs rather than parental “ownership.” Our guide on how decision-making and parenting time are decided explains the framework in full.
What If There Is No Court Order?
This is where a lot of conflict happens. Where there is no court order or agreement, parents generally have an equal entitlement to the child, and neither parent has the right to unilaterally keep the child from the other. The catch is that without an order, there is also nothing formal to enforce — so if a parent starts withholding the child, the practical remedy is usually to establish a parenting arrangement, either by agreement or by bringing the matter to court.
A parent who keeps the child and says “there is no order, so the child stays with me” is misunderstanding the law. The absence of an order does not give one parent superior rights — it just means an arrangement needs to be put in place. Acting first and refusing to share the child can actually reflect poorly on that parent.
When There Is an Order or Agreement
If you already have a court order or a parenting agreement, the other parent is required to follow it. Wrongful denial of your scheduled parenting time is a breach, and Ontario courts have tools to respond — including ordering make-up time, adjusting the arrangement, and, in serious cases, other consequences. Repeated, unjustified denial is treated as a significant problem precisely because it harms the child's relationship with a parent.
Support and Parenting Are Separate
One of the most important — and most misunderstood — points is that child support and parenting time are legally separate. A parent cannot withhold the child because support has not been paid, and a parent cannot stop paying support because they are being denied time. Each is enforced through its own channel. If support is the issue, it is addressed through the support system; if parenting time is the issue, it is addressed through the parenting framework.
Linking the two — “no support, no visits” or “no visits, no support” — is a common instinct and a serious mistake. Both are enforced independently, and trying to use one as leverage over the other tends to hurt the parent who does it.
When Withholding May Be Justified
There is an important exception. Where there is a genuine, immediate risk to the child's safety — such as abuse, a credible threat, or a serious danger — a parent may need to act to protect the child. But even in that situation, simply withholding without doing anything else is risky. The proper response is to seek a court order promptly, and to involve police or child protection authorities where the circumstances call for it, so that the protective step is supported and documented rather than looking like unjustified interference.
How to Enforce Your Parenting Time
If you are being wrongfully denied, the path forward depends on whether an order exists:
| Situation | Typical Approach |
|---|---|
| Order or agreement in place | Bring a motion to enforce; the court can order make-up time and address the breach |
| No order in place | Apply to establish a parenting arrangement (decision-making and parenting time) |
| Urgent safety concern | Seek an urgent order and involve police or child protection as needed |
| Ongoing interference | Document a pattern and consider a change to the parenting arrangement |
Where circumstances have changed and the existing arrangement no longer works, our guide on changing a custody or parenting order explains how variations work.
What the Court Actually Looks At
Because every parenting decision in Ontario turns on the best interests of the child, it helps to understand what that phrase actually means. The court does not start from either parent's “rights” — it starts from the child, giving primary consideration to the child's physical, emotional, and psychological safety, security, and well-being. Among the factors a court weighs are:
- The child's needs, given their age and stage of development
- The nature and strength of the child's relationship with each parent and other important people
- Each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent
- The history of care for the child
- The child's views and preferences, where they can reasonably be determined
- Any family violence and its impact
- The ability and willingness of each parent to care for and meet the child's needs
Notice the third factor: a parent's willingness to encourage the child's relationship with the other parent is itself something the court considers. This is precisely why unjustified withholding is so risky — it can signal to a court that the withholding parent is not prioritizing the child's best interests, which is the very thing the whole framework is designed to protect.
When It Becomes Alienation
Persistent, unjustified efforts to keep a child from the other parent — or to turn the child against them — can amount to parental alienation. Courts treat alienation seriously because of the documented harm it causes children, and a parent found to be alienating can face real consequences, including changes to decision-making or parenting time. Our detailed guide on parental alienation in Ontario explains how it is identified and addressed.
What to Do If You Are Being Denied
- Stay calm and keep records. Note each denial with dates, and keep communication in writing where possible.
- Communicate in a child-focused way. Avoid arguments in front of the child and keep messages civil — they may later be read by a court.
- Get legal advice quickly. Whether the answer is enforcement or establishing an arrangement, acting sooner is better.
- Do not retaliate. Do not stop support, withhold the child in return, or take matters into your own hands.
A parent with an order for alternate weekends is repeatedly told the child is “busy” and is denied several weekends in a row. Rather than confronting the other parent or stopping support, they keep a calm written record of each missed weekend and bring a motion to enforce. The court orders make-up time and cautions the other parent — restoring the schedule and documenting the pattern in case it continues.
What Not to Do
- Do not stop paying child support to “force” access
- Do not take or keep the child in breach of an order
- Do not involve the child in the dispute or use them as a messenger
- Do not rely on threats or confrontations that can be used against you
Common Myths
Myth: “If there's no order, whoever has the child controls access.”
False. Without an order, parents generally have equal entitlement, and no parent has the right to unilaterally withhold the child.
Myth: “I can stop visits until they pay support.”
False. Support and parenting time are separate and enforced independently. Withholding for non-payment is not allowed.
Myth: “Keeping the child away will strengthen my case.”
False. Unjustified withholding often backfires, because the child's best interests generally include a meaningful relationship with both parents where it is safe.
Being denied time with your child, or need to establish a parenting arrangement? Call our Toronto family lawyers at 416-274-2222 for a free, confidential consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Generally, no — not without a court order or a genuine, immediate safety concern. Ontario law is centred on the best interests of the child, and a parent usually cannot simply decide to withhold a child from the other parent. If there is an order or agreement in place, denying parenting time can be enforced against the parent who breaches it.
Document what is happening, keep communication calm and in writing, and get legal advice quickly. Depending on the situation, you may bring a motion to enforce an existing order or to establish a parenting schedule where none exists. Courts can order make-up time and take repeated denial into account.
No. Child support and parenting time are legally separate. Being behind on support does not entitle the other parent to withhold the child, and being denied parenting time does not entitle you to stop paying support. Each is enforced on its own.
Without an order or agreement, parents generally have equal entitlement to the child, and neither has the right to unilaterally keep the child from the other. However, the absence of an order also means there is nothing to enforce, so establishing a parenting arrangement — by agreement or through the court — is usually the practical solution.
Where there is a genuine, immediate risk to the child's safety — such as abuse or a serious danger — a parent may need to protect the child. But even then, the right approach is to seek a court order quickly, and to involve police or child protection where appropriate, rather than simply withholding without taking legal steps.
Make-up time is additional parenting time a court can order to compensate a parent who was wrongfully denied their scheduled time. It is one of the tools courts use to address denial of parenting time and to discourage a parent from withholding the child.
Persistent, unjustified interference with a child's relationship with the other parent can be a feature of parental alienation. Courts treat alienation seriously because of the harm it causes children, and a parent who engages in it can face consequences, including changes to the parenting arrangement.
It can. A parent who unjustifiably withholds a child, or who is found to be undermining the child's relationship with the other parent, may be viewed unfavourably by the court, because the child's best interests generally include a meaningful relationship with both parents where it is safe.
It depends on the circumstances and whether there is an existing order. Urgent situations can sometimes be brought before the court quickly. The sooner you get advice and take proper steps, the sooner the situation can be addressed — waiting rarely helps.
It is strongly advisable. A lawyer can help you document the denial, choose the right approach — enforcement or establishing an arrangement — and act quickly. Handling it correctly from the start protects both your relationship with your child and your position in any proceeding.